Let Your Grief Flow

Sandra (71 years young) & her Mom, Antoinette (94 years young.)

I was sitting in my car when the phone rang. My heart stopped. My mother had passed.She was 94, close to death, had survived several brushes with death in the past year. I assumed she’d go on forever even though I hoped for her sake (and sometimes for mine) she’d pass.

But now, she was comfortable and peaceful, how could she die, just like that? She was  ready, but I wasn’t.

I gasped, stumbled out of my car and ran towards the care home, screaming and yelling at the top of my lungs: hardly the picture of a dedicated yogini for the past 40 years.  My body heaved, the sobs rang out; the staff ran towards me and guided me into my mother’s room. Hardly the image I wanted to portray.

There she lay, looking like she did yesterday, sweet and peaceful. I wailed. I heard someone say, “It’s good to grieve.”

I threw myself at my mother. She was warm, soft and peaceful. I cradled her in my arms and wailed. The energy (Prana) from her body flowed through me. I felt her anxiety release through me. I cried. She was peaceful.

I remembered telling my mother how good it is to cry; tears are healing I said as finally, after 7 ½ years, she wept for my father. Because of losing her mother as a toddler, she had trouble crying and grieving, so much so that when my brother died 20 years ago, she ended up in the psych ward. After eight electric shock treatments and no improvement, the family finally released her to Bob and myself. Three months later we sent her home. She went on to have 15 good more years.

Then, my father died. She didn’t cry. She didn’t appear to miss him. Then just two weeks before she passed, I, once again, asked, “Do you miss Dad?” Tears rolled down her cheeks. She said she wasn’t crying. I told her, “It’s good to cry. Tears are good. They heal us.”

After that she got very peaceful, with an inner sweetness. Bob, my brother and myself noticed it. And then she died. She was awake, spoke to the nurse: her heart stopped, and she passed peacefully.

Yes, wailing is good. Grieving is healing. Tears are good. Tears are healing. Wailing is good. Emotions stay in motion. Otherwise they get stuck in the body, where they cause havoc. I still cry.

To see Sandra with her mother after she has passed, click here and scroll down.