Poem—”The Old Lady”

Dearest Sandra,

Two years ago at the Yoga Retreat we were thrusting our pelvis. I felt a huge rush. It came from the ground, through my feet and up through my legs. I got frightened.I knew that something was leaving my body – something that was a part of who I was. The woosh came up through my hips and abdomen – up through my chest. It happened in an instant. As it reached my upper chest and throat I collapsed crying. I knew that I had lost something as the woosh left through my crown chakra. And I knew that I had stopped something from leaving because when I collapsed I’d tried to hang onto whatever it was I was loosing. I didn`t know what had left. I only knew that I`d lost a part of myself that was gone for good.

I used to drink, probably more than was good for me. Since your retreat March 2011 I just don’t want to drink like I used to.

This year on retreat Sandra you said we all have gifts. I like to write poetry. I consider it my gift to myself. I wrote this poem in June 2011 because of the experience you led me to. I would like to share it with you now.

The Old Lady

I think the old lady moved
I used to watch her from the street
She’d dance like she was dancing
To the memories of every lover
The world has ever known
And she’d drink
I’d see her pour stiff ones
Counting them she knew how many
She could drink
Before she’d have a hangover so bad
She couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen

I stand in the street often
And look through her windows
I miss her
I’m not sure where she went
I only know she doesn’t live here any longer

There is one more thing that I would like to tell you today. I’m not sure what retreat is was – it was a few years ago. We were at the lake and retreat was ending. You said, “Everyone come take your place in the circle.” Sandra, I cried. I cried the entire time we were in circle. You came and stood before me – looking at me and I couldn’t stop crying. I want you to know why. “My place” I have a place in the circle! I am here and I belong here. Amongst all these beautiful people I have a place. And not only do I have a place here I have a place no matter where I am standing. Sandra, you gave me my place in the world. I just want you to know that. I want you to know how grateful I am.

With deep love and gratitude your student, your friend…